eighty-six: letters to two fellow riders

The expression “jaded New Yorker” exists with good reason. We city dwellers see outrageous things on a daily basis—some too cringe-worthy to mention here (I mean you could be just sitting down to breakfast for all I know). Most days, the ridiculous behavior doesn’t faze me, but today’s antics were just too much! Oh how I wish I had some civilettes for these offenders…

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March 28, 2011

To the Gentlemen Clipping His Nails on the 6 Train,

I think you’ll agree with me here, riding the six train during rush hour isn’t the most pleasant way to start your morning. We’re crammed-to-capacity in a mobile petri dish of germs. So I have to ask, why would you ever trim your fingernails here? You didn’t even make an effort to collect the clippings, but let them careen across the train.

I don’t like to pass judgement or make broad generalizations, but your navy blue suit and brown Ferragamo loafers suggest you must have some level of taste. And judging from your smug look, I think you know better. I also think you have it in you to be more courteous to the rest of us. No need to apologize this time, we’ll just chalk it up to a crazy week at the office with no time for a man-icure. But please, please, don’t let it happen again.

Your fellow rider,

Lauren

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To the Gentlemen Watching Porn on a Portable DVD Player,

I very much respect your desire to stay entertained during this forty-minute train ride from New York City to Westchester County. BUT, I find your viewing choice completely inappropriate. Pornography? On a commuter train? Without headphones? That goes against all spoken and non-spoken rider code. I am disgusted and offended. And only wish you weren’t seemingly smart enough to hit the pause button when the conductor came for your ticket. If you ever do this again (which I’m nearly sure you will) I hope you get caught. And punished in a big way.

Your fellow rider,

Lauren

eighty-five: birthday wishes for David

David is the lucky boyfriend of Miss Jenna. He is a passionate beer enthusiast and sometimes triathlete. And today he celebrates his birthday.

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March 27, 2011

David,

Happy Birthday big guy! I hope a half a dozen rare, fine brews are in today’s plans. And may your birthday celebration be just the beginning of a firework-filled year. Best wishes and continued happiness, all year long.

Love,

Lauren

Dee&LaLa

eighty-four: thanks for Chocolove

I’ve spent the better part of the last three weeks working on a deceivingly large freelance project. When the going got really tough (oh, at about 1:30 AM nightly) I decided rewards were in order, even for the smallest victories—an edited paragraph, completed research, a clever sentence. Naturally, I chose something dee-licious!

Meet Chocolove, the chocolate bar I was destined to love. For starters, the packaging mimicks a letter (couldn’t you just die?) and there’s a charming poem tucked inside the wrapper for extra feel-good. But the best part is the chocolate. I am partial to the Almonds & Sea Salt in Dark Chocolate variety, but all 14 flavors are tasty. Indulge my dears–you will not be disappointed!

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March 26, 2011

Timothy,

I was destined to love your chocolate. And boy, do I ever.

I am a letter-lover, so anything resembling hand-written correspondence gets top marks in my book. I’m also a hopeless romantic and lover of literature—those enchanting poems make my heart swoon.

And the chocolate, oh the chocolate. I am especially partial to your Almonds & Sea Salt in Dark Chocolate variety (I buy them in threes!). That dark chocolate is perfection, not too bitter, just right. And I love the surprise of whole almonds, adding an extra pleasurable crunch to every couple of nibbles. The hints of sea salt dusted throughout awaken my taste buds and leave me longing for the next bite .

Thank you for creating such a delectable treat and for your continued commitment to all natural chocolate. I am forever indebted.

Fondly,

Lauren

Sugar Paper

dish from Fishs Eddy

a love letter + more apologies

Oh my! Where has this week gone?! I am terribly sorry for the radio silence. That needy project came back for edits and my work schedule has been all over the map. My apologies to those of you who checked in wanting letters! I really wanted to give them to you. Really!

In an effort to assuage my gilt, I’m posting a bona-fide love letter from 1953. I found it today at the Brooklyn Flea, part of Dan’s Parent’s House collection. Ah, love letters are unparalleled, the champion of all written correspondence and by far the very best thing the postman delivers.

I wonder what Shirley and Terry were like. Did they have a big fight? Did he think Shirley was unfaithful? And why does Shirley need money? I hope she used it to buy a polka-dotted dress and some dainty white gloves. And I just love that this letter was mailed before the invention of zip codes!

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Dearest Shirley,

Hello sweety. Honey I am very sorry about that letter I wrote Sunday. I didn’t know. When I am stuck out there I imagine all sorts of things. I hope you realize that honey. I know you love me and I love you more than anything. I am so sorry about the letter. That won’t happen again sweetheart. I just miss you so much and I worry about you so much that I imagine sorts of things. It will be tomorrow before I will be able to send you money because I have to go up in the morning and get a money order. Honey it was so nice to hear your voice. You really sounded wonderful. I will be sending you a box probably next week. I love you with all my heart. You are the most wonderful girl in the world and the only one for me. Tell your father hello for me sweety.

With all my love,

Terry

xxxxxxx

eighty-three: a thank you note for Tayler

There are friends with whom you can always pick up where you left off—Tayler is one of those gals. She has a perma-positive attitude, is a hoot to hang with and to my complete envy, she can function on little-to-no sleep. Even though she lives in Chicago, we make a point to visit each other as often as possible.

Tayler lives within strolling distance of Greer Chicago, one of my most favorite stationery shops. Ever. And yesterday she sent me a wonderful package. A thank you note needed to be penned immediately!

**Friends, a lot of you have asked about my favorite stationery shops—I promise a full list is coming soon!**

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March 25, 2011

Tayler,

I am unspeakably delighted over my little parcel from Greer—you are so sweet to send me such gorgeous paper love. I don’t think anything better could have been packed between splendid sheets of turquoise tissue. You sure know the way to my heart Tay! And I am so lucky to have you in my life friend.

I’m looking forward to shacking up together in May. I am going to have the hottest date at the wedding, wink. Our little reunion couldn’t come soon enough. Thanks again!

Love,

Lauren

Martha Stewart

eighty-two: in memory of Elizabeth Taylor

On March 23, 2011 the world lost a legend. Elizabeth Taylor was more than a Hollywood starlit—she was a tireless advocate for AIDS research. I am a sucker for anyone with a cause (and an ah-mazing collection of jewels).

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March 24, 2011

Dear Elizabeth,

I hope you’re resting in peace comfortably. I imagine you lounging on a red velvet chaise, looking gorgeous as always. Your family surrounded you in your final moments. And today they laid you to rest—fifteen minutes after schedule, just as you requested.

Your violet eyes captivated audiences and dozens of suitors—you are a film legend. Most impressively, you championed a noble cause: AIDS research. You helped raise more than $100 million dollars and boosted public awareness. I hear you really lived life to the fullest, which I greatly admire. I know your children couldn’t be more proud of you or the legacy you leave behind. And your fans, well, you will live forever in our hearts and on the silver screen. Rest in peace.

Fondly,

Lauren

P.S. I’m so sorry all the newspaper headlines scream Liz—I know you really hated that moniker.

P.P.S. Who got all your fabulous jewels?

eighty-one: birthday wishes for Carlo

My  friend Carlo wears a mustache (and a gold Timex) better than anyone I know. He is whip-smart and hilariously funny, as evidenced here. I’ve known him thirteen-plus years and he only gets better with age.

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March 23, 2011

Carlo,

You! Happy Birthday handsome! I hope you have a stach-tacular day. Shall we celebrate with some cake? I’ll make the trek to Brooklyn if you promise to be my compass. I’d really rather not wait until Thanksgiving if you know what I mean.

I hope your twenty-seventh year (you big baby) is full of glam and glory. And may today be most wonderful—if only I could persuade Scarlett or Christina to seductively sing you the birthday tune…

Big Hugs,

Lauren

eggpress

eighty: letters for Natalie + Julie

I picked two letter requests at random today. Jessica wrote me the sweetest note, raving about her friend Natalie, a lovely twenty-something exploring France and finding her way in life. And the other letter goes out to Julie, a loving mother who is rebuilding her life. Carmen, the requestor, wrote to me with such compassion and pride for her mother. I am honored to send a little encouragement via post to these fierce women.

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March 22, 2011

eighty:

Natalie,

Please tell me you are taking full advantage of the macaroons, croissants, and delicious fromage just down the Rue! Golly, I’m envious. Jessica tells me you are busy conquering the world, one adventure at a time.

I too worked in magazines—I was an editor for nearly four years. I have to imagine life in France is much less volatile than the ever-changing publishing industry. How’s your French coming along? I’m sure you’re getting great practice. And let’s be serious, even if you are royally screwing up the tenses, I’m sure you sound just lovely!

I think it is just wonderful that you are taking this time to discover what you are all about. You will never have this opportunity again, and self-discovery should happen at all costs, whenever possible. I wish you lots of luck on your journey, in Paris no less (did I mention how completely envious I am?)! May you return to the US in a few months, totally rejuvenated and with a suitcase full of fabulous flea market finds and a belly full of yum!

All the best,

Lauren

Sugar Paper

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eighty-and-a-half:

Julie,

Your lovely daughter Carmen has told me all about you. I understand there is brand spanking new in your life these days. I am so excited for you! This may stem from my complete adoration of dogs (hi, new puppy Brandi). A new job is always a great way to refocus and start again. And your soon-to-be renovated kitchen sounds pretty amazing too. I love to cook, and in my experience, a batch of homemade brownies cures all blues.

I know we are strangers, but I want to applaud your brave choices and your commitment to your own happiness. We all must take ownership of our lives, however difficult that can be at times. I’m certain good things are in store for you. So Julie, turn up the Britney and dance!

Fondly,

Lauren

Greer Chicago + Muji Pen

seventy nine: a letter for a brilliant teacher

Confession: I really loathe math. And while I’m no longer forced to do long division, I still feel a lingering resentment for numbers.

It all started with a ski trip. While I was earning gold stars in ski school, the rest of my fourth grade class was mastering their multiplication tables. I returned, behind, and frustrated. It took me longer than I’d like to admit to learn them (if we’re laying it all out there, I still get stuck on the x 12’s). And so began my aversion to numbers…

Despite it all, my favorite teacher in high school was a math teacher. My tests were red-pen central (I had a tutor too!), and still I adored and respected this lovely lady. She and her husband have a charming special needs son named Timothy. And the family grew by one in 2010—they adopted a daughter named Rebecca from the Ukraine. I could not be in more awe of this woman—then or now.

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March 21, 2011

Ms. Meyers,

I know you said I could call you Kathi at graduation nearly ten years ago, but it still doesn’t feel right, especially  in formal correspondence.

May I just say, I was just thrilled to reconnect with you on facebook! I sigh a little, knowing you are no longer teaching. I’m sure you made the right decision for you and your family, but I just keep thinking of all those troubled students who will never experience math enlightenment!

I am continually amazed by your strength and patience with Tim. I can’t believe how much he’s grown. And that dog of his is adorable! But I was most thrilled to learn about the newest addition to your family. I poured over your blog entries and cried as I read the story of your journey to adopt from the Ukraine. Rebecca is one lucky girl. And you are one selfless lady.

Your courage and conviction are an inspiration to me. Perhaps we will reconnect properly, in person, one of these days. Until then, I wish your whole family continued blessings.

All the best,

Lauren

Simple Song

seventy-eight: a letter for Jen

Jen and I worked together—she was my boss for a hot second. In a few short weeks, this bubbly blonde made quite a favorable impression. I respect her very much and will miss her dearly.

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March 20, 2011

Jen,

As far as I can tell, the only upside of this whole situation is the ability to consume bananas freely. You should know I would gladly trade the doctor-recommended potassium to hear your laugh echoing up the stairs.

I don’t know what’s what, and I never need to know. You were beautifully composed, but I’ve worked enough years to know an ‘exit’ when I see one. I’m so sorry and really hope the beer garden and the seventy-degree day offered solace.

Let me know when you’re jones-ing for some jam butter and biscuits and we’ll meet for a proper brunch with cocktails. And in the meantime, sincere well wishes. I know encouragement goes a long way when you’re at a crossroads in your life (I should know—I feel like someone so gave me the wrong road map!). I do hope we’ll stay in touch!

Lost without you,

Lauren

Sugar Paper